One thing I just noticed this morning is a note pad that is hanging on the side of my fridge.  It's the long type with a "mod" design usually for list. ( Like groceries or to do list.)  Honestly, I don't think in the past three or four years that I have even noticed that it was hanging there.  Sadder still is that when I need paper to write down a phone number or something  I go searching throughout the house for a scrap of paper.  On my kitchen counter now is a ceramic type of free standing board that I use to write notes to myself or my son, with a dry erase marker.  So what am I doing with the note pad that is really just clutter on my fridge?  So I began to ask myself when I was going to begin again to de-clutter my space.
  
The note pad got me thinking about clutter in my life.  See after I got my memory back, I began to notice that my house and life have been filled with clutter.  Clutter doesn't mean that it is useless.  It just means that it is not useful where it is.  If you can't find it when you need it...well , what good is it?  Like the note pad, I have been cleaning up my environment around me for the last couple of months.  I have already has one yard sale and hopefully I'll have another one before I leave for Boston. (visit)  When I am in my mood to clean my house and get rid of the clutter, it does not mean that I just throw things out.  Things like the note pad obviously need to be placed somewhere else so that when I need paper, I use it instead of pieces of envelopes, or mail ads...Some things, like gifts that were never anything I would have bought for my house, well those either go towards a sale or in the trash.  Let's just say I have definitely generated a lot of garbage lately... Now there are things that I have been given that really don't go with my decor but they bring back such good memories of the person or a special time that I would never get rid of them.  These special things may take a designated space  in my living room so that I can daily remember the person, but they also may be moved (like my bowling trophies and my degree ) to a shelf overlooking my bed.  Here I can enjoy them without feeling like I am cluttering my home with boastful things.  It's enough that I can see them occasionally (behind a curtain) so that when I need encouragement I know where they are...
  
  People can be like clutter.  I have tons of people in my life.  Work friends, church friends, bowling friends, they are all precious  to me.  But when there are times in my life when bad things happen, I begin to think about what kinds of friends I have.  Most of the people just say they are sorry about what ever is happening , but they really just move on and forget the pressure or sadness that I am dealing with.  Others care but they are so far away that all they can do is offer support.  Maybe... I need to clean out the "friends" who have been misplaced?  Maybe...they are just not where they should be in my life?  Maybe... if I find the real friends and put them in a place so that I think of them everyday, and toss out a few who don't seem to value my friendship, just maybe I can de-clutter my life as well.  And maybe I will recognize who my real friends are and be able to be a better friend to them as well.

  Sometimes it really hurts when you feel like you must give up on a friendship that was once extremely close but now is very distant.  But there is a saying that I will probably mis-quote baddly (sorry)... it's like.  God puts some people in your life : for a reason, a season, and a lifetime... Reason friends are there to support you for a specific time or event in your life.   Season friends are there for a time and leave.  But the special friends are there for you for your whole life (or a very long time).  I hope that God will allow me to see this more clearly and let me know who and when to let some people go...

Tonight I can't sleep.   Sometimes it's because things are happening and I can feel the disruption. (Okay I know I'm weird).  But sometimes it's because God lays things on my brain, and I just have to write them down (like lyrics to songs), but tonight it's strange thoughts...
Like:
   why is it that we need to use aborted fetus to do stem cell research...-to save old people ?
   and why is it that we have spent trillions of dollars  for years on cancer research- but millions get diagnosed with cancer every year?  And the first cure for cancer is still the one that most doctors use cause it works the best.
   why is it that we can search the infinity of the universe but can not understand the delicate balance of the human brain?  (Is bipolar, and other mental disorders becoming more prominent or is it just seem that way?)
   or cure the common cold?
Why is it that we can send a man into space but can't help him keep a job?  Why is it that the only new jobs are on Mr. Obama's cabinet?  Why is it that big corporations are getting bailouts while middle class is getting laid off?
Why is it that prisons serve three meals a day, but homeless shelters are lucky to serve just one?  (we won't mention beds, rooms, and computers).
Why is it that we would rather make a profit than share what we have with others?

A final thought:  Why is it that we would rather start an argument than help to resolve one?